holla

if you really miss me it seems i have a new addiction. myspace.com/tarablonde

roundhouse kicks for all this season

i am pretty sure i am the laziest blogger on the planet. well, second laziest, after hootie pootie. i had resignated myself to never blog again, but here i sit, rambling on about nothing as usual. its like a first love, that i will always have a special place in my heart for, but everytime i see it things get awkward and i never have anything to say. fuck that was a good analogy and i just made it up on the spot. i am fully aware that none of the words i am using fit the sentences they're in and are all spelled wrong, but as i am not notjoecheese with a dictionary and/or thesaurus sitting beside me (sorry buddy i gave you up. full of scandal) . there is no ending to that sentence either. just drops off. into nothing.
so i know that you are all dying to know what is going on in my life right now. but maybe you dont want to admit that you are dying to know. but its ok. its classified information anyway. although i am going to a snowboarding movie premiere tomorrow, and for those who know me, they know i have a soft spot for snowboarders. so it should get ugly. hootie pootie and i swore that we would never go to another premiere after the last one we went to, and a few before that where we almost died and had to drive home from whistler at 5 in the morning after our designated driver got hammered and we stole the keys. and the car. and another human. so here it is, a few years later, ready to rip open those old wounds just so we can get drunk and make out with some pro atheletes. did i say we? oops. i meant me.
so christmas is coming and i want a digital camera. the canon sd450 to be exact. so if anyone would like to get that for me, just let me know and i can arrange to get you my mailing information, or for those of you who already know where i live, just feel free to leave it on the door step. christmas eve is my favorite day of the year. no joke. it is great. my house turns into a shit show and everyone gets drunk, eats lots of food, laughs, crys, (well not really) and i never want it to end. and we listen to alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs. and this year, you are all invited. well, if you get me that camera you can come. otherwise, you might have to settle for the movie version when it comes out in 2016.
so as you can see from this post, i really have nothing too exciting to write about. or maybe i have a secret blog somewhere that nobody knows about and that is the one i put all the juicy stuff in like who i like and went to second base with and the results from the MASH game that i played that says who i am going to marry. but i dont. but if i did, youd never know.

identity theft is not as cool as your friends make it out to be

so my friend, we'll call him 'joe', has decided to accompany me on a little excursion accross the pond next summer. so i'm over at his house tonight, doing a little research about eurorail and busabout, you know, costs and such. as i am typing in busabout.com i accidently type but and what comes up automatically in the little address bar? none other than buttspliters.com. 'joe' blatently denies ever visiting this site, but fails to provide the name of anyone else who could have done it. not that there is anything wrong with looking up porn on the internet. if you are a lonely desparate pervert who likes watching max hardcore videos of girls vomiting on themselves. oh wait, that was 'joes' roomate.
moving on. it was another interesting weekend. hootie pootie and i went to a lovely house party on friday night where i proceded to get super drunk (i am not bragging, its the truth) and download the party favorites on the hosts computer. these consisted, of course, of return of the mack, poison by bbd, and hot stepper. i also broke a closet, stole a mickey of vodka, (the nectar of the gods) made a date to go see the constant gardener, tried to make international calls to switzerland, and when that didnt work, sent off a few text messages to just about everyone i know. which is only like four people, so it wasnt so bad. as i am scrolling through my phone tonight, i see that i have acquired the phone number of a gentleman named luke. he will not be getting a call. and i got the hiccups. all ingredients for a roaring good time.
so far, the job is going alright. thanks to all those well wishers out there for their comments and their congrats. i am still in training mode, and nobody really talks to me. the one guy that i do knows girlfriend also works there and she gives me the stink eye everytime i talk to her boyfriend like i am trying to scam on him. so that part is cool. actually, i do see some fun potential. we shall see, we shall see. if anything, its a place that i can practice my flair. once i learn how that is.
alright i am going now. a good blogger knows the key is to leave them wanting more. or quit while youre ahead. so that would have been like 2 paragraphs ago.

greatest bartender this side of the mason dixon line

alright alright. i know i suck. apparently i can only write posts for other people or if i am drunk. perhaps next time it will be both, so god help you if i ever figure out your password after a few vodka redbulls. so lets see. what is new.
i started this new job the other night and as i am wiping down tables, i am thinking how i am way too old and way over qualified to be doing what i am doing. i am trying not to be a job snob or anything, because really, its a job, and i dont have any money, and i am supposed to be going to europe in the summer. which is really hard to save for on ei. however, here i am wondering how did i get here. ahhh i had so much promise. maybe its my attitude. bah. whatever.
so hootie pootie and i went on this country booze cruise the other weekend, with her sisters and a bunch of other folk. we, for some reason, have the unfortunate luck of going to these things with high expectations and open minds. it seems everytime we are greeted with a crowd of people who we have nothing in common with and would never hang out with and if you catch where i am going without me having to say that the people always end up being total social rejects... needless to say if the ocean water wasnt minus 60 i would have probably jumped over board and swam to shore. oh, and if i wasnt wearing a really good shirt. however, hootie pooties boyfriend and i had the pleasure of watching a girl with perhaps a medically enhanced chest look down and wink at her boobs all night. so really it was worth the thirty five bucks after all.
oh yes, and go see walk the line. and buy madonna and imogen heaps new cds. and go see jarhead because you get to see jake gyllenhals ass. and lets face it. that is what we all really want. oh, and notjoecheese... dont worry , kiddie porn is the new romantic comedy.

i am the kd master

ok. so i got up at 4:00 this morning to take my mom to the airport for the second time in two weeks. blah. good thing my new thing is to be an insomniac lately, so its not like i actually had to set the alarm. my great grandma died the other day, so my mom is going back for the funeral. but dont feel bad, she (my g grandma) was almost 102, and she kinda wanted to die. apparently there is not much quality of life for a almost 102 year old who still has her wits about her, but not much of the mobility. she was a cool lady, however, who outlived two husbands and two daughters, one of whom happened to be my grandmother. she will be missed.
the rest of my day i spent with my dad and bob. we went down to the legion which was kind of cool before rememberance day, to see all the vets and think about what they sacrificed so we could live the way we do today. started off innocently enough, but i can never go out with bob and my dad together without being pumped full of alcohol and coming home with at least a buzz. which i did. which i am. however, bob did win me a stuffed unicorn from one of those machines which is no small feet when you are knee deep in spiced rum and cokes. my sister used to have a friend who had a pet unicorn in her back yard. at least thats what she told people. i never saw it. but i believe.
so here i sit, 7:00 on a tuesday. blogging because i know any minute gareth is going to start harping on me, buzzed with no where to go. pretty sure i text messaged the swiss kid to go to sleep, although it is 4 in the morning in shitzerland. not sure what the rest of the night holds for me, but i am sure it involves more drunk messaging and a little bit of watching the amazing race. perhaps some smarties. you just never do know. and my dad just came in and offered me pickles. which are not a snack food. and this was a good day.

shipkicker for a bullshit free existence.

has anyone seen lord of war and perhaps would like to explain it to me? nevermind. i dont really care. but jared leto 30 seconds to mars is looking mighty fine these days. so what if he's totally weird and was on my so called life.
i seem to be going thru this weird, unbrought on transitional period right now. i was commenting to a friend last night about being 25, with no job, no boyfriend, no prospects, and living at home with my parents, and my friends are dropping like flies. but its ok. i know that this is all happening for a reason, and its because i have become too complacent in the past few years which has not encouraged me to change the things and shed the people which aggravate me. i hang on to people and things out of fear that i will end up alone. But over this past year, and especially this past month, i have discovered that sometimes it is better to be alone then to put up with the things that make my life harder for me. at this point i am mostly referring to people, not things, and there has been a lot whom i have had to let go of recently. i am getting to the phase of my life, or maybe i am just too tired to put up with the bullshit anymore, and let things slide out of the sake of losing another person. i have noticed with all these friends i have, i still spend the majority of my time alone, and despite what anyone thinks or says, this is not by choice. but as it is something i am so accustomed to, it wouldnt really be that different if i had one less friend . and to be fair, it isnt any different. i keep the people close to me that i know make time to include me in their lives, and if that ends up being only one or two people, then its one or two who are honest with me and with themselves, and i'm ok with that. for once in my life, i am worrying about myself first, because i can no longer except the blame for everything. what if my whole life up until now, everything wasnt my fault. someone said that to me once, and it scared me. because it always what i've been led to believe, and that statement changes my entire existence. i am cautiously optimistic of what the future holds for me. i am looking forward to moving forward. because, of all things, my blog is getting way too emo. and if i'm getting rid of the negativness that has haunted me my entire life, i need a good reason.

ways and means

i dont care what anyone says i'm sticking with the trebuchet. arial is so last season. ahh yes, another halloween, another weekend, another daylights savings time all gone by. maybe next year i will get it into my head that it isnt neccessary to be friends with all my old boyfriends. because lets face it, sometimes they just creep me out. but yet, i found myself at one of their houses saturday night after the bar. (hootie and i went as pirates for halloween. so awesome) ninety percent of the time when i hang out with this person, i wish i was somewhere else but yet i still find myself in the prediciment that i was in saturday night. the minute i got there i knew it was a bad idea. scratch that, i knew before that. needless to say it ended in me walking out shaking my head while getting yelled at with the door locked behind me. typical behavior but yet here i still am trying to make a friendship out of a bad relationship that never worked in the first place. bahhh. i have the hardest time letting go of guys in my life that i have dated, but no problem at all ending relationships with friends who i feel have done me wrong. which is funny, because the guys i've dated treat me far worse than anyone else, but i stick around for as long as it takes for them to break up with me. and then once i am just finally sane again i open that door and let them back in because for some reason i feel i have something to prove. dont know if its to them or to myself, but it usually ends up messy again with the lines all blurry and even though i know i dont want to date them i know i dont want to not talk to them and go to outrageous efforts to include them in my life when most of the time they couldnt care less. dont get me wrong, i dont really give it too much thought other than it pisses me off. while writing this post, i am also msn-ing one of them.