RIP marble 2002-2005

so my sisters gerbal died on the weekend. to be fair, i actually thought it died 2 years ago, but i guess she had two. so anyways, marble died this weekend. my sister found him dead in his cage when she went to feed him. this was a traumatizing event for my family. which strikes me as odd, considering that no one ever took it out of the cage, it smelled like urine all the time, pretty sure my sister only cleaned its cage on long weekends that fell in months starting with j. however, marble is a member of the family so we must give him the proper send off. my dad, as the grounds keeper, was in charge of digging a hole large enough to fit a listerine pocket pack box. my job, as resident family dj and maestro, was to select a song appropriate to send off a dear family friend. well, no one actually asked me to pick a song, but i settled on amazing grace by nana mouskouri. we all gathered round the apple tree in the backyard to give our last regards to marble. a little sampling of our eulogy as follows: my sister- blah blah blah i'll miss you you were a good pet even though i never touched you because whenever i did you'd shit everywhere (actually she never said that, but as she was talking thats what i was thinking) my mom- bye marble (or something to that effect) me- sorry i called you useless, i guess you were kind of cute. my dad- SORRY I KICKED YOU ACROSS THE FLOOR. yes, he actually did do this. so we all sprinkled a little dirt and each placed a flower on top of the listerine pocket pack box, just as nana sings the final bars of amazing grace. it was all a very touching, fitting way to send off a beloved pet. except that its a gerbal. and my sister is 28. and everyone in my family sobbed hysterically. including my dad. who does not get emotional. ever. while i tried to crack lame jokes about the last two months being the best of his life, while wondering why my family is crazy and how come i was the only one who wasnt crying and didnt anyone else see the humour in this.