is it limbo?
so i googled myself and apparently i am a urologist. and somehow i still cant afford to move out on my own. tried to talk my sister into letting me live with her when she buys a house next year. she laughed at me. its a work in progress. i feel she'll come around.
in three weeks, i turn 25. having a major quarter life crisis about that, which actually started when i was 22. not exactly what i thought i'd be doing at this age. faced with the prospect of not having a job in a month, i'm not really sure how i am going to do all the things i wanted to do in the next year. this is supposed to be the year that i get my shit together. but for some reason, it takes me longer to do stuff than anyone else i know. not sure if i make it harder for myself, but i fight just about everything. and here i am, almost 25, no closer to my goals, whatever they are, then i was 5 years ago. i have a tendency to draw lines in the sand, so to speak, talk myself out of things by saying that i wll never be able to do it anyway. i dont know how. i am waiting for a really good idea to drop into my lap, that i will patent, and then live off that for the rest of my life. i am getting past prime trophy wife age, and as i have a strong aversion to marraige, i think that as an option is also out. its not that i want to be alone forever. thats just the way i see the future when i picture it in my head. i dont see marraige. i hate kids, or at this point , dont have the patience for them. i dont want a boyfriend, at least i dont think i do. but i know that i am tired of being tag along third wheel all your friends have boyfriends or girlfriends who they swear they dont spend every waking moment with but they do and they know it and they call you once in awhile to hang out and if they happen not to catch you, well at least they did their duty because they called you so you cant accuse them of not calling cause you didnt pick up. girl. truth is, i'm really not sure that i care anymore. what dont i care about? not sure about that either. despite all this, i have it pretty good, and i know it. which makes me feel like a jackass for not knowing it. i am stuck. here. in myself. i can see a light. but i dont know how to get there. so now what?
posted by shipkicker @ 10:03 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Well if you can see the light just walk towards it.
I think that alot of this is because of the fact that you have another birthday coming up. EVERYONE re-evaluates their lives around an upcoming birthday. They look back on the previous 12 months and wonder what they have achieved. They list all the bad stuff mentally and forget that the good stuff far out weighs it!
It's a little like New Year's Day. You make all the plans for the incoming year simply because that day is seen as something life changing and 'important'.
Just keep thinking positively and everything will work out. Hoping that this has helped you.
*sigh* Tara I, too, am turning 25 in 3 weeks and I don't know what-in-the-dickens I'm doing with my life either.
Lets drink.
i wish i had something terribly wonderful to tell you and make everything clear. but, sadly, i don't.
however, let me tell you this: you are fabulous! whether you are turning 25 or turning 35, it's okay to not know what you want or how to get it. we are all in the same boat fumbling our way around together.
you'll be aiight.
This one time I googled myself and found out I died 5 years ago in some city called Bloomington, Indiana. Terrible motorcycle accident, whole town was devastated, mentioned it in the council minutes.
I'm never going to google myself again!
Just be happy you're alive and not dead somewhere in Indiana.
Listen to "Everybody's Free (to wear sunscreen)" it might make you feel better.
I've got the answer:
You need to trademark the term "mocheesimo." I forsee that this will be your means to attaining financial freedom. That word pops into my head every once in a while and I always get a laugh when I think about it. This word could lighten the days of everyone in the world, not just me. Not to mention make you tons of money.
I came back here to say this to you, but I thought I already posted a comment on this, but I guess it didn't go through or something. So I'll write something else, too.
I'm kind of in your same boat. 25 and not sure what I'm doing. For me, its a question of whether I want to go back to school and get a teaching license/masters degree and be an elementary school teacher, or if I want to find some other kind of better paying job right now or soon that I will probably hate, or if I am going to have the guts to try and be a writer and actually write some books and then try to get them published. I've always wanted to be a writer and really felt like that is what I am supposed to do with my life, but up until now I haven't had the guts to go full-force with that dream. I've always felt like I needed to wait for all these different things to happen before I could be a good, publishable writer, like graduate from college, go to graduate school in creative writing (I didn't get accepted), &c. I also like teaching, but I'm not sure I can be a good elementary school teacher and a good writer. I think one or the other might suffer if I try to do both. So that's my quandary. Trying to be a writer seems so risky. But then, if I don't have enough confidence in my ability to write something that other people will pay money to read, then certainly no one else will and it will probably never happen. So I'm starting to realize that it will only happen if I put the energy into it and make it happen, so I should probably just go for it.
I'm saying all this as a personal example of what I'm about to suggest, and because I always have to make everything about me. Is there something you've always liked or felt like you've wanted to do or needed to do and haven't done it yet, because it seemed to risky or too hard, or who knows why? If so, I think maybe the answer is just to go for it and try to do it. If we don't even try to do the things we've always wanted to do, they certainly won't happen, and the quandary and aimlessness will consume our entire lives. And I think it is never really too late to do a lot of things that we might think it is too late to do. My uncle is in his mid-fifties and has started going back to school to get a masters degree in urban planning. After going through various failed-business prospects and mediocre jobs that he didn't really like, now he's finally about to be doing something that he likes and is good at.
But if there really isn't anything you ever wanted to do in your life except get rich by either marrying a rich guy or some other way that doesn't require a lot of work, I don't know what to tell you, except it must suck to be you.
Oh, there is one thing that makes my situation different from yours. I like kids and I would be perfectly happy as a Mr. Mom if I found me a rich girl who wanted to keep her career and let me stay home with our kids. But this probably isn't happening because I'm no trophy husband, and the situation is pretty rare anyways.
And I thought it was only in Utah (or Lancaster PA, or third world countries) that 25 approaches the "too old to marry" status.
Sorry to post such a long, narcisstic comment on your blog, but whatever. Actually I'm not sorry. You don't like it, just deal with it or blog administrate it out of existence.
Happy Birthday/Quarter-Life Crisis!
Josué
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